The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback
In any workplace, feedback is the fuel that keeps people and performance moving forward.
When it’s done well, it drives growth, sharpens skills, and strengthens relationships. When it’s done poorly, or avoided altogether, it creates confusion, frustration, and missed opportunities.
But here’s the truth: very few people are ever taught how to give or receive feedback effectively.
We’re expected to just “figure it out,” even though it’s one of the most emotionally charged and high-impact interactions we have at work.
So let’s break it down.
Why Feedback Matters More Than Ever
In a world where workplaces are becoming more agile, hybrid, and collaborative, feedback isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s essential.
- It helps teams stay aligned and reduce misunderstandings.
- It builds trust and transparency, especially between managers and employees.
- And it allows people to grow faster by replacing guesswork with guidance.
At Shape It Recruitment, we often talk with candidates who left great jobs not because of salary or workload, but because they never knew where they stood.
Silence, they said, was worse than criticism, because silence kills clarity.
The right feedback creates momentum. The wrong approach, or no approach at all, can quietly stall a promising career or a high-performing team.
Part 1: The Art of Giving Feedback
Giving feedback is a skill, one that requires tact, timing, and empathy.
Done right, it motivates. Done wrong, it alienates.
Here’s how to do it well:
1. Be Clear, Not Harsh
Vague comments like “You need to be better with clients” help no one. Instead, be specific:
“When the client asked about the new proposal, your quick response helped move things forward. Next time, looping in the design team earlier could make it even stronger.”
This shows you’ve noticed the effort, and you’re focused on growth, not blame. Clarity communicates care. Ambiguity communicates disinterest.
2. Balance the Positive and the Constructive
This isn’t about sugar-coating. It’s about context.
When you highlight what’s working before mentioning what needs improvement, people are more likely to actually hear you — not just brace themselves.
It’s called the “truth sandwich”:
Start with a strength → Deliver the developmental point → End with encouragement or trust.
For example:
“Your presentations always have great flow. One area to polish is your data accuracy, double-checking the numbers will make your message even more credible. Overall, your communication style really engages the team.”
Balanced feedback builds confidence while encouraging growth.
3. Focus on Behaviour, Not Personality
One of the biggest mistakes in giving feedback is making it personal.
Instead of saying, “You’re careless,” say, “There were several errors in last week’s report — let’s go over how to prevent them.” The difference may sound small, but psychologically, it’s huge. People can change behaviour. They can’t change who they are.
4. Give Feedback in Real Time
Feedback loses impact when it’s delayed. If you wait weeks to bring something up, it feels less relevant, or worse, like you’ve been quietly judging.
Timely feedback shows engagement and helps people adjust while the experience is still fresh.
That doesn’t mean blurting things out mid-meeting, but a quick “Can I give you some thoughts on that presentation?” afterwards can go a long way.
5. Make It a Two-Way Conversation
Feedback should never feel like a verdict. It should feel like a dialogue. After sharing your thoughts, invite their perspective:
“How did that feel from your side?”
“Do you see what I mean?”
This not only shows respect, it also deepens understanding. Sometimes, you’ll discover important context you didn’t know.
Part 2: The Art of Receiving Feedback
If giving feedback is uncomfortable, receiving it can be downright nerve-wracking. But being coachable is one of the most valuable traits in any professional.
How you receive feedback often matters more than what the feedback actually is.
1. Listen First, React Later
It’s natural to feel defensive, especially when caught off guard. But feedback is rarely meant as an attack, it’s meant as information.
Instead of jumping to defend, pause and say something like: “Thank you for pointing that out, I’d like to think about it.”
That moment of composure not only earns respect, it also gives you time to process and decide what’s useful.
2. Ask for Clarification
If the feedback feels vague or emotional, dig deeper:
“Can you share an example of when that happened?”
“What would improvement look like to you?”
Questions show maturity and genuine interest in getting better. It shifts the dynamic from criticism to collaboration.
3. Separate Self-Worth from Performance
This is where most people get stuck. Feedback on your work is not feedback on your worth.
It’s easy to internalize criticism as “I’m not good enough,” when what’s really being said is, “There’s room to improve this specific skill.”
Remind yourself: You can be talented and have areas to grow. The two are not mutually exclusive.
4. Apply and Follow Up
The best response to feedback is action. Implement what you’ve learned and circle back later with an update: “I’ve been working on that point you raised. How does it look now?”
It shows accountability, initiative, and emotional intelligence, all qualities that set top performers apart.
Part 3: Building a Feedback Culture
The healthiest workplaces make feedback a habit, not a shock.
That means:
- Leaders model open, respectful feedback.
- Team members feel safe to share upward and sideways.
- Wins are celebrated as much as lessons are discussed.
When feedback becomes part of the culture, it stops feeling personal, it feels normal.
It’s simply how the team gets better together.
People want to grow. They just need an environment where feedback feels like support, not judgment.
Final Thought
Feedback is an art because it blends honesty with empathy. It’s not about proving someone wrong, it’s about helping them become stronger.
When given with care and received with openness, feedback stops being uncomfortable. It becomes empowering.
And that’s when real growth, personal and professional, begins.